Not My Choosing:

On a wed. night, not to long ago, Wichita, experienced an unusual storm. Since we live some 15 miles West I was aware of the storm from that perspective but arriving at my studio on Thursday morning I soon learned that we were without air conditioning. Oh, I had lights and could use my computer but no cool air. I lasted till 4 PM, and after learning that we would not have power restored for several more hours, decided to close and headed home. I was real concerned for my dog Hope, she has lymph cancer, a result of someone poisioning her in my back yard when she was 2. Since then she has had liver damage and I cook her food each week. This day she was stressed by the heat and I was not sure she would make it. I love Hope, she is a friend, and a spiritual presence from God that comes in no other form. She is the greeter in my Studio and a gentle reminder of God's patient love.

Friday Hope and I made the trip to the studio only to find out that the power was still 8-16 hours away. The Electric company called and told me what was happening and that they would do their best to restore our power but that it would be at least hours away. We returned home to catch up on some work that needed done, and we rested up from the excess heat of the previous day.

And so goes life, day by day we meet some small and some larger challenges, this being a small one, almost insignificant and a diversion for the many days of sameness. On Thursday I had reflected back to my childhood and used an old remedy my mother had used when the heat was nearly unbearable. My sister  went to Quicktrip and bought bags of ice, which we put in a low tub and placed it in front of the fan. It did bring a small appreciated bit of relief from the oppressive heat.

Over 28 years ago, my life changed forever. I was hit by a driver who ran a red light and a new, difficult, and most serious phase of my jorney began that day. There was not a day nor and hour that I was not fully aware of the pain, excruciating, rentless, unending pain that wrapped itself around my mind and my body and did not let go. The day became 24 hours of sleepless agony, due to numerous immune system problems I lost the pain meds and went through one physical therapy remedy after another, each leading me down a path with no hope and no relief. The days and nights were sleepless, I could not sit, nor lie down, there was only one position that afforded a slight bit of relief, and that was standing, the pain was relentless. I moved about from place to place, the floor, laying over the edge of the divan on my stomach while standing on my knees, and then up again trying to walk, pacing, crying, begging for the pain to end. Nothing worked, the Doctors had determined that I was a malingerer, someone who used their experience to get money. They treated me with less than professional care, some who actually pushed or shoved me when I said I could not bend over for thena few inches, which then ended up in more excruciating pain and a loss of bladder control.

The days were endless, and as I write this I would rather forget, yet God has blessed me and thus my desire to help others who are experiencing or have experienced something that caused great pain and damage to their body, mind, and psyche tearing their life apart is my goal.