As an artist I signed up to participate in the Art In The Park held in Winfield KS. Oct. 1. I haven't done a show or participated in the Farmers Market for over a year. I am busy creating some new glass ware and looking for other art shows to attend. Business has been real slow, and there are times I wonder what God had, and has, in mind. Am I on the right path? Some times life is clear cut and simple to navigate, but more often I have found it more like a maize that one manuvers through, always checking to see if you are headed in the right direction. Always wondering if you are listening to God's directions and making the right choices. I often put out a fleece to test the waters, and usually that makes my next choice clear. Since opening the store I have wavered between feeling sure of the direction, and not being sure at all. Each time I have an encounter at the Studio with someone who is needing reassurance or facing a struggle I feel reassured and march forward with confidence, and then the dry spell leaves me wondering again, Am I doing the right thing?
Deep down I know I am, it just seems that the financial end of the matter drags me down, worrying about paying the bills.
That is not a new feeling, during the years of pain and critical health I struggled with how we would survive financially, and yet God saw us through that and even made it possible for me to attend Seminary and then once again I returned to Seminary to get a Doctorate in Pastoral Care and Counseling. So why do I worry? I know full well God provides, but I also know we must be diligent and carry our share of the load, and during those very harsh and pain filled years I sure didn't carry my share of the load. But God did.
It is so easy to get cut off from that which we know is our path in life. I loved serving as Pastor but I strugglesd with the politics and the inconsistencies in faith communities. So whats new? Nothing, that has been going on for centuries. I find being outside the organized church a better vantage point to meet people and be available for them as they struggle with very real life issues. The Studio has been that place and I continue to give thanks for it and for the opportunities I have there to share the journey with so many folks.
So I will look forward to the new adventure in Winfield, and other places where God might send me to share the Love of Christ. Thank You Lord for the opportunity.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Not My Choosing:
On a wed. night, not to long ago, Wichita, experienced an unusual storm. Since we live some 15 miles West I was aware of the storm from that perspective but arriving at my studio on Thursday morning I soon learned that we were without air conditioning. Oh, I had lights and could use my computer but no cool air. I lasted till 4 PM, and after learning that we would not have power restored for several more hours, decided to close and headed home. I was real concerned for my dog Hope, she has lymph cancer, a result of someone poisioning her in my back yard when she was 2. Since then she has had liver damage and I cook her food each week. This day she was stressed by the heat and I was not sure she would make it. I love Hope, she is a friend, and a spiritual presence from God that comes in no other form. She is the greeter in my Studio and a gentle reminder of God's patient love.
Friday Hope and I made the trip to the studio only to find out that the power was still 8-16 hours away. The Electric company called and told me what was happening and that they would do their best to restore our power but that it would be at least hours away. We returned home to catch up on some work that needed done, and we rested up from the excess heat of the previous day.
And so goes life, day by day we meet some small and some larger challenges, this being a small one, almost insignificant and a diversion for the many days of sameness. On Thursday I had reflected back to my childhood and used an old remedy my mother had used when the heat was nearly unbearable. My sister went to Quicktrip and bought bags of ice, which we put in a low tub and placed it in front of the fan. It did bring a small appreciated bit of relief from the oppressive heat.
Over 28 years ago, my life changed forever. I was hit by a driver who ran a red light and a new, difficult, and most serious phase of my jorney began that day. There was not a day nor and hour that I was not fully aware of the pain, excruciating, rentless, unending pain that wrapped itself around my mind and my body and did not let go. The day became 24 hours of sleepless agony, due to numerous immune system problems I lost the pain meds and went through one physical therapy remedy after another, each leading me down a path with no hope and no relief. The days and nights were sleepless, I could not sit, nor lie down, there was only one position that afforded a slight bit of relief, and that was standing, the pain was relentless. I moved about from place to place, the floor, laying over the edge of the divan on my stomach while standing on my knees, and then up again trying to walk, pacing, crying, begging for the pain to end. Nothing worked, the Doctors had determined that I was a malingerer, someone who used their experience to get money. They treated me with less than professional care, some who actually pushed or shoved me when I said I could not bend over for thena few inches, which then ended up in more excruciating pain and a loss of bladder control.
The days were endless, and as I write this I would rather forget, yet God has blessed me and thus my desire to help others who are experiencing or have experienced something that caused great pain and damage to their body, mind, and psyche tearing their life apart is my goal.
Friday Hope and I made the trip to the studio only to find out that the power was still 8-16 hours away. The Electric company called and told me what was happening and that they would do their best to restore our power but that it would be at least hours away. We returned home to catch up on some work that needed done, and we rested up from the excess heat of the previous day.
And so goes life, day by day we meet some small and some larger challenges, this being a small one, almost insignificant and a diversion for the many days of sameness. On Thursday I had reflected back to my childhood and used an old remedy my mother had used when the heat was nearly unbearable. My sister went to Quicktrip and bought bags of ice, which we put in a low tub and placed it in front of the fan. It did bring a small appreciated bit of relief from the oppressive heat.
Over 28 years ago, my life changed forever. I was hit by a driver who ran a red light and a new, difficult, and most serious phase of my jorney began that day. There was not a day nor and hour that I was not fully aware of the pain, excruciating, rentless, unending pain that wrapped itself around my mind and my body and did not let go. The day became 24 hours of sleepless agony, due to numerous immune system problems I lost the pain meds and went through one physical therapy remedy after another, each leading me down a path with no hope and no relief. The days and nights were sleepless, I could not sit, nor lie down, there was only one position that afforded a slight bit of relief, and that was standing, the pain was relentless. I moved about from place to place, the floor, laying over the edge of the divan on my stomach while standing on my knees, and then up again trying to walk, pacing, crying, begging for the pain to end. Nothing worked, the Doctors had determined that I was a malingerer, someone who used their experience to get money. They treated me with less than professional care, some who actually pushed or shoved me when I said I could not bend over for thena few inches, which then ended up in more excruciating pain and a loss of bladder control.
The days were endless, and as I write this I would rather forget, yet God has blessed me and thus my desire to help others who are experiencing or have experienced something that caused great pain and damage to their body, mind, and psyche tearing their life apart is my goal.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Making Changes:
August 1, 2011
Life is all about making choices and changes; daily we have to decide what we want our day to look like, to be like, to hold for us, to have waiting for us. Day by day we do not follow through on the shape of that day, even though we may have a clear picture of what we would like that day to be and to hold for us. I want to change that about my life and design each day to more clearly fulfill what I believe my life is to be about. I hope some of you will join me in sharing the journey.
Blessings and Peace
Joan
Life is all about making choices and changes; daily we have to decide what we want our day to look like, to be like, to hold for us, to have waiting for us. Day by day we do not follow through on the shape of that day, even though we may have a clear picture of what we would like that day to be and to hold for us. I want to change that about my life and design each day to more clearly fulfill what I believe my life is to be about. I hope some of you will join me in sharing the journey.
Blessings and Peace
Joan
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